It really is almost too much some days, although never so much that I consider any extreme measures. Parenting is far more challenging than anyone can prepare you for. Where does all the energy come from? You swear they’re sneaking spoons full of sugar when you’re not looking. And the abstinence – I mean do they get some sort of personal gratification out of saying "NO" to something you are most certainly going to make them do – that is, if you don’t collapse out of frustration first?
As I write this, Madeleine is vying for my attention – and of course I oblige. She says she loves me. She fixes my ears because "They’re too long" she says. When I try to return the favour and fix hers she says "NO, they’re fine!" On many days it really would be easier to put them down in front of the TV and let them get their fill (if that is possible) of Bob & Larry, Bob the Builder, Calliou, Dora, Bear….. Charolette, Pooh, Tigger… What keeps us from doing that?
Its hard to be a good parent, to do the things you know are right for your kids day after day. So what keeps us doing those things? I see the future and I see my kids with more confidence and potential than I ever had. Maybe every parent sees this. I don’t want to give them ‘stuff’ I never had; I know that that is unimportant. What I want to continue to give them is their Mommy. I want to continue to sacrifice so that they can have a loving parent at home until they are school aged, and from that I think they will benefit in the same ways that we benefited from having our Mothers at home. But that future is hard to see on days like today. Madeleine is 2 and practicing defiance and Olivia is 1 and sick and fevered.
We’re teaching them more when we’re not using words. For every challenge issued in defiance, our responses are their lessons. The amount we allow them to get away with is what they’ll later expect from the real world – and they’ll be disappointed.
