Counting Crows – A History of Emotion – Part 4

A History of Emotion: Personal reflections on the words and music of Counting Crows

PART 4 – A Long October Through February

Satellites and Live On A Wire

“Recovering the Satellites” is another gem, equal in emotional impact but showing a band that can rock as well as quietly emote. I don’t think I know another album that is as perfect in loudness as this one. I listen to “Have You Seen Me Lately” on my iPod and marvel anew at its perfection.

“A Long December” is probably second only to “Miami” on my list of favourites. Judging by blog mentions I’d say “A Long December” is the runaway favorite.

A long December and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last

Those lines alone are often quoted in the blogosphere as a hand reaching out to hope after a bum year. I understand a month that seems longer than the others in the context of depression. In those winter months I often struggle to keep my chin up, sometimes spending days in a numbness that isn’t pain but rather the absence of any feeling at all. In these periods time is an enemy, unwinding itself slowly, taunting me with its ability to control the speed at which it unravels. And all I want to do is sleep. At least then the absence of feeling includes the absence of conscious unfeeling. Confusing? Yeah, me too.

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it’s all a lot of oysters but no pearls
And all at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

A lot of oysters but no pearls. Brilliant. And then as quickly as it comes it’s gone again. Sometimes what snaps you out of it is seeing something you wouldn’t have otherwise seen if you were feeling “up”.

I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower
About the things you could not show her

A long December and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Listen to “A Long December”

Almost every fall and winter at the low point of this seasonal funk I consider medication. And then I remind myself of the songs and stories I’ve written in those same months and I think I can make it without medication and with some prayer and maybe have a few songs to show for it in the spring. And I always do.

***

The album “Live On A Wire”, though coming quite early in a band’s history, rocks harder and shows more depth than could have been expected from a band with only two releases to their credit. But this is a band that loves their songs, and like Dylan allows them to change, to be taken apart and put back together in a different order, and above all, lets the songs be the boss.

“Angels of the Silences” is another song that receives triple treatment but it changes very little in structure or lyric. The live acoustic version is a straightforward rendition with acoustic instruments. The live electric version nearly mirrors the studio cut.

I’ve always read something into the lyrics of this one that I’m quite sure Adam was NOT getting at. The first verse seems to be to be about someone who’s struggling with faith and abandonment. To me it fits well into the period just after Jesus ascended into heaven as being the thoughts of one who wonders if Jesus will return.

Well I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand
Did it make it any easier to leave me where I stand?
I guess there might not be too many who would stand beside you now
Where’d you come from? where am I going?
Why’d you leave me till I’m only good for…
Waiting for you
All my sins…
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead end dreaming

Again… resonance… great art holds out the possibility of a personal interpretation, a universal interpretation, and one that only the artist knows.

The theme of identity comes up repeatedly on these albums. “Have You Seen Me lately” is full of hurt and loss where Duritz implores the listener to tell him, remind him who he is.

Get away from… get away from me, this isn’t gonna be easy
But I don’t need you – believe me
You got a piece of me, but it’s just a little piece of me
And I don’t need anyone these days
I feel like I’m fading away
Like sometimes when I hear myself on the radio
Have you seen me lately?
Have you seen me lately?
Have you seen me lately?

I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America it’s starting to rain
Could you tell me the things you remember about me?
And have you seen me lately?

I remember me… and all the little things that make up a memory
Like she said she loved to watch me sleep
Like she said ‘It’s the breathing, it’s the breathing in and out and in and…
Have you seen me lately?
Have you seen me lately?
Have you seen me lately?

You know I thought someone would notice
I thought somebody would say something if I was missing
Well, can’t you see me?
C’mon colour me in, c’mon colour me
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon
Give me a blue rain, give me a black sky, give me a free ride
C’mon, give me your white skin, c’mon, give me your white skin, c’mon, give me your white skin…

The pain is far more palpable on the acoustic version. On the studio album the music is louder and the mood does not reflect of the content lyrics. The music on the studio album is triumphant, bordering on joyous. The mood on the acoustic version is one of exhaustion, exasperation, and depression. The whole song comes and goes in under 4 minutes and welcomes generous applause.

Irony. They applaud the one whose identity they’ve misconstrued. Their applause is for who they see him to be and not who he really is. Would they love him the same way if they saw him for who he really is? Would many of us love if we saw each other in all our humanity?

Listen to “Have You Seen Me Lately?”

The Nature of Celebrity

Some celebrities complain about their celebrity yet keep inviting every possible kind of attention and some complain because they’re hurled in front a bigger audience than they ever imagined by simply doing something they love. I think Adam is, or at least started out as the latter.

One of the advantages of being an actor rather than a musician is that an actor like Daniel Day Lewis can disappear for years at a time, sometimes apprenticing as a cobbler, emerging when needed to play a role he’s decided is worth his time.

On the other hand, Johnny Depp claims to hate celebrity culture yet plays roles that bring him ridiculous amounts of attention. Mr. Depp is widely reported to have muttered:

“I’m shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it”

I’m sure playing the lead in a blockbuster Disney movie has kept him comfortably out of the limelight.

He’s great in the movie and most of his other movies by the way, but I think he plays the reluctant celebrity at his convenience and to his advantage. He plays both to those who rent Hollywood like a whore and those who despise it in a fit of hypocritical self-righteousness. I think its called marketing.

Go to Part 5

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