I’ve been going through my journals, looking for forgotten songs to take out and record for my next album. I’m into the fall of 2005 now and it was a particularly dark time for me. Indeed, some of the words I wrote then cannot be displayed anywhere other than where they are – on paper in my journal.
I found these few parts that I obviously wrote to Madeleine:
I see your picture
I see leaves that need raking
You’re standing at the window, you wait for me to play
But I close my eyes and try to slip away
I have no will to act
I have no deeds to earn your interest
A hug is always waiting for the excitement of my arrival
Your affection is the fuel of my survival
I’m trying not to pass this on to you
So I bury it much deeper than I should
But what am I teaching you? Plastic smiles?
My soul defiles the goodness showered on it
Guilty at the start
I take your tiny hands and leech your strength
You’re passing me your energy, you wait for me to play
But I close my eyes and try to slip away
