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June, 2008:

Richard Dawkins: Heaven. Leona Helmsley: Hell. Jerry Falwell: Somewhere Between

Jun 21st, 2008
by Michael Krahn.
10 comments

richarddawkins460.jpgPeople are… amusing?  Is that the right word for this?  I received these three comments on my Dawkins page.  I reprint them here for your enjoyment.  Let me know what you think…

Hello Michael,

Now the reason I came to your site is that an important message has been sent down, just like a News Update. I have a message to tell you about Revelation. The message is from God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost.  Sent in the Spring of 2006. It is about the meaning of <b>First is Last</b> and Last is First. The message is this:
<b>In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die, death. </b> What does this mean? In other words this means Birth is Last and Last is Birth. To understand this don’t think from point A to point B. Think of this as a continous circle of life. Birth, Life, Death, Birth. God also said that Judgment will be before Birth in Heaven. As birth on Earth is painful so will birth in Heaven.  Yes, God has recently made contact and he sent a messenger.
This will help you understand this message better, Did you know that Mike Douglas died on his birthday? Melanie Steffen

*****

Now Richard Dawkins made some good points in his book.  As a scienctist he should have taken one more avenue.  He could have concluded that maybe parts of the bible are the word of man and not the word of God.  He would have been closer to the truth.

Now God also told me that <b>Richard Dawkins</b> goes to heaven.  He says that he is an embarrassment, but God is fond of him.  He thinks of him as a pet.  What this means to me is that God is also saying you don’t have to believe in God or Jesus to get into heaven.  Athiests can go to Heaven.

God also had something to say about <b>Jerry Falwell</b>, well known TV evangelist.  God said that Jerry does not go to Heaven.  He doesn’t go to  Hell either.  Jerry falls into a third catagory of people he doesn’t want in Heaven, and he doesn’t want to punish him either.  Jerry just disappears, vanishes.  What this means to me is that just believing in Jesus does not get you into Heaven.  It takes more than that.

*****

One more example is Leona Helmsley.  God sends her to Hell.  Now Leona was a mean witch for a good part of her life, right up to the day she died.  God gave her everything, good looks, money, opportunities, and even more money.  Things most of us will never have.  She saw herself a Queen in her Hotel and would fire people for very small things.  Before she fired people she would berate them.  There are hundreds of stories.  When Leona realized that she was dying she asked God to forgive her.  So she knew about God.  God said it was the 11th hour,  it was to late to say your sorry.  God sent Leona to Hell.  Leona right now is alone and in the dark.  She thought she was better than everyone else, so she is all by herself.

What this means to me, is that waiting until the last minute to say your sorry, and asking God to forgive you does not work.
This also means that God will forgive you,  God is forgiving.  You need to change your ways before it is to late though.
It says in the Bible that God is forgiving,  so parts of the bible are correct.

A Recruitment Parable

Jun 14th, 2008
by Michael Krahn.
No comments yet

(HT: Michael Kruse)

TO: Jesus, Son of Joseph, Woodcrafters Carpenter Shop, Nazareth

FROM: Jordan Management Consultants, Jerusalem

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them carefully.

As part of our service, we make some general comments for your guidance, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation, and comes without any additional fee.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man. All the other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely yours,

Jordan Management Consultants

(not sure of the original source of this)

John Piper: 20 Reasons I Don’t Take Potshots at Fundamentalists

Jun 7th, 2008
by Michael Krahn.
9 comments

john-piper-10-744844.jpgFrom the Desiring God blog:

1. They are humble and respectful and courteous and even funny (the ones I’ve met).

2. They believe in truth.

3. They believe that truth really matters.

4. They believe that the Bible is true, all of it.

5. They know that the Bible calls for some kind of separation from the world.

6. They have backbone and are not prone to compromise principle.

7. They put obedience to Jesus above the approval of man (even though they fall short, like others).

8. They believe in hell and are loving enough to warn people about it.

9. They believe in heaven and sing about how good it will be to go there.

10. Their “social action” is helping the person next door (like Jesus), which doesn’t usually get written up in the newspaper.

11. They tend to raise law-abiding, chaste children, in spite of the fact that Barna says evangelical kids in general don’t have any better track record than non-Christians.

12. They resist trendiness.

13. They don’t think too much is gained by sounding hip.

14. They may not be hip, but they don’t go so far as to drive buggies or insist on typewriters.

15. They still sing hymns.

16. They are not breathless about being accepted in the scholarly guild.

17. They give some contemporary plausibility to New Testament claim that the church is the “pillar and bulwark of the truth.”

18. They are good for the rest of evangelicals because of all this.

19. My dad was one.

20. Everybody to my left thinks I am one. And there are a lot of people to my left.

Yeah, sign me up for #20. ;-)