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Intimacy (Bailey Book Study – Part 2)

Jan 2nd, 2010
by Michael Krahn.

These posts will be a series of study notes and questions for the book that our Life Group is studying together. The book is “Upsidedown” by Tim Bailey. You can read a review of the book and order it here. Feel free to read along and join the discussion in the comments section below. The content for these questions is found on pages 18-26.

INTIMACY – Giving Up Your Privacy

I love the picture above. Have you ever sat in the same room as your spouse and chatted online or via text? I know Anne Marie and I have. It raises questions about intimacy and relationship.

“We know we have an intimate relationship with others when our ‘privacy’ includes them.” (p19) Bailey explores the contrast between ‘knowing’ and ‘being known’. We love to know things about others but when the situation is reversed, we say “That’s a private matter.”

Why do we accept this double standard? Why do magazines like People and US sell millions of copies every week? Are the people in those magazines really that interesting? Why?

Read Psalm 139.

What do you see in this Psalm that gives you comfort? What do you see that causes some fear? Considering how well the Psalmist says God knows us, does it make sense to attempt to hide anything from him?

“Loneliness is not about not knowing anyone – it’s about not being known by anyone. It’s the result of valuing privacy over all.” (p21)

What are some reasons people resist being known? When it comes down to it, how many people are you really known by?

How can a church become a community that embraces intimacy?





Posted in: Life Group Studies, Tim Bailey - Upsidedown.

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  • NAHD

    How do you find people that want to know you and allow you to know them??

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/michaelkrahn michaelkrahn

    The reply to that could fill a book of course… but I would say these few things off the top of my head:

    1. It requires a lot of time
    Of all my deepest relationships, getting to "the deep stuff" never happens quickly. Sometimes we sit and talk about nothing in particular for an hour or more before we really get into matters of the heart.

    2. It requires togetherness
    The above generally only happens in the physical presence of other people. This of course requires the motivation to set up a meeting with someone and to set aside time for that meeting. This used to be a gigantic roadblock for me.

    3. It requires risk
    Not everyone you pour your heart out to will be receptive – some might even burn you. You can't allow that to discourage you efforts to find people to "know and be known by".

    My strategy is based on probabilities. Make contact with as many people as possible. Some will turn out to be the ones you will be "known" by but most won't. Some may turn out to be later.

    Hope this helps.