Some of the best songs ever written have as their source an overwhelming sense of regret. Bill Mallonee writes these songs with the best of them. Here’s a new one he just wrote and recorded that’s available for purchase as part of a re-issue of the EP “Electromeo“. The entire EP is well worth the $5 asking price.

(RSS readers may need to click through to here.)

“Life I Never Lived” by Bill Mallonee

Look at al the goodwill i retracted
Look at that deck of cards and how i stacked it
Look at all that fear and how i masked it
look at the life i never lived
look at the life i never lived

Look at all once mistook for wealth
Look at all those gifts i put back on the shelf
Look at all the slack i cut myself
look at that life i never lived
look at that life i never lived

Playback all the harsh words i spoke
Take note on how i squashed some hope
look at all those tender hearts i broke
look at the life i never lived
look at the life i never lived

Look at all the houses i tore down
Look at all the smiles i turned to frowns
Look at all the roads that just went round & round
look at the life i never lived
look at the life i never lived

Look at all the good i failed to see
Look at all i failed to do for Thee
look at what i might one day have been
look at the life i never lived
look at the life i never lived
look at the life, look at the life
look at the life i never lived

If you travel much in folk/country-rock/americana circles, you should be familiar with this fantastic album by the Canadian band Blue Rodeo. It’s an album that’s been a seminal influence on my own songwriting.

There’s not a weak track on the album but the highlight moment for me is the guitar solo by Greg Keelor’s in the song “5 Days in May”. It’s simultaneously misplaced and well placed, as if it was transplanted from another song in which it sounded more appropriate, and yet… it fits here too. Have a listen… (RSS readers may need to click here).

The Ottawa Citizen recently did a feature story on the upcoming 20 year anniversary of the making of the album:

“The commune-like vibe and the trees and hills around them helped create a folk-rock record pitched and sold to the record company a mere detour from their electric, rockabilly-inspired, country rock repertoire.

‘The band was never the same after that record,’ Cuddy said. Many of their albums since boast harmonica, pedal steel guitar and layered harmonies reminiscent of the Five Days record.”

Read the rest here.

Bonus… found this cover version of the song that actually does it justice:

Here is the first of many #FREEBIE_FRIDAY songs that you can download for any price (including nothing).

This is one I wrote about some great songwriters I know… The songwriters I’m singing about may or may not include Bill Mallonee, Ron Sexsmith, and Mark Heard

(RSS reader may need to click through to here)

This via Bob Lefsetz:

1. Listen to a lot of records.
A knowledge of music is the best education. Spend more time listening than posting on Facebook. The musicians of yore could play every lick on their favorite blues records, can you?

2. Learn how to play.
Start with lessons. Only give them up when you surpass your teacher. Know how to play what you don’t like. It’ll come in handy, just like studying algebra.

3. Write.
We’re interested in what you have to say. You can wring emotion with a note, but begin composing lyrics too. Music blew up in the sixties because we were interested in more than the surface, we wanted to know who these acts were, we wanted to know what they had to say.

4. Rehearse.
If you’re not frustrated, if you’re not chomping at the bit, you’re not doing it right. Sure, post the results to the Net, but don’t expect anybody to pay attention. And promotion is passe. Don’t tell people to listen, go back and cut more until you create something so good it spreads by itself.

5. Use what’s come before as a stepping off point, not as a blueprint.
Although you should know how to play the classics, your music should not sound just like the Beatles or Zeppelin, but different. If you haven’t got people scratching their heads, telling you to turn it down, you’re playing it too safe.

6. No one has the magic keys.
Top forty radio is a formula fed by a conveyor belt no different from the one at GM, but with a lot less innovation. If you’re interested in making a Cruze or a Camry, sign up. But it’s the aforementioned Prius which is sold out and unavailable, it’s what people want, what they’re willing to overpay for, even though GM killed its electric car. It takes a while for the public to catch up. The Prius was not an overnight success. Hipsters and the green signed up first, Toyota improved the product, gas prices went through the roof and voila, a mania! Manias are not manufactured, not ones that last, they’re all about being in the right place at the right time, anticipating the market, not playing it safe, but being dangerous.

7. If practice isn’t hard, you’re not doing it right.
No matter how much success you’ve had, if it’s become easy, if you’re repeating yourself, you’re on the road to failure.

8. Listen to no one but yourself.
Recruit information, but preferably from someone without a financial interest in your success. Musical artists are the last loners, they’re visionaries, they’re not part of the group, but outside it. If you’re showing up at the club or the Met Costume Ball you’re doing it all wrong. No one should be inviting you, they should be afraid of you, and if they do call you won’t go, because you know they’re trading on your success for their own benefit.

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My new album “Lovers on the Edges of the Twilight” is almost done! Info here: http://bit.ly/pimCw8 Get the previous album “The Weight of Glory” here: http://bit.ly/pFEhs1

Keith Green was influential in my early life as one of the few bright lights in the Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) scene. Green was preachy, but passionately so – which somehow made it seem more legit than the many faux-preachy “Jesus singers” of the day.

Endowed with enormous talent in addition to his passion, he released five excellent albums before his untimely death at the age of 29. He, along with two of his young children were killed in a small plane crash, leaving behind another daughter and a pregnant wife. His page at Wikipedia is a good read.

Here is a section from that page that caught my eye:

“His first solo project, For Him Who Has Ears to Hear, was released in 1977 and his second solo release, No Compromise, followed in 1978. In 1979, after negotiating a release from his contract with Sparrow, Green initiated a new policy of refusing to charge money for concerts or albums. Keith and Melody mortgaged their home to privately finance Green’s next album, So You Wanna Go Back To Egypt. The album, which featured a guest appearance by Bob Dylan, was offered through mail-order and at concerts for a price determined by the purchaser. By May 1982, Green had shipped out more than 200,000 units of his album – 61,000 for free.”

So the math goes like this: he offered the album for free and shipped 200,000 units, 139,000 of which people paid for. Of course I’m sure it helped that Zimmy made a guest appearance, but this was an idea ahead of its time.

We musicians are now smart enough to know (thanks in large part to guys like Bob Lefsetz) that a little free goes a long way, especially if the art is good.

You can get A LOT of good music free at Noisetrade. Like THIS, for example. ;-)

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My new album “Lovers on the Edges of the Twilight” is almost done! Info here: http://bit.ly/pimCw8 Get the previous album “The Weight of Glory” here: http://bit.ly/pFEhs1

Tim Challies recently recently made a statement that immediately set off a series of thoughts in my brain. He said: “I’ve become convinced that I can’t write a book until I first live a book.”

This is how the songwriting process works as well – for me at least. The last 8 months have been a period of darkness like I haven’t experienced in a long time; more than a few weeks in the last months have been more dark than light.

Songwriting has always accompanied these periods.

In the years of 1999-2003 I experienced seasonal depression every (roughly) October to February. During these years I would write 30-40 songs and I bet if I went back and checked the dates they were written, a majority of them would be from that stretch of months each year. It was the way I coped, the way I processed. (I have often borrowed a line from Bill Mallonee whenever I’m asked why I write songs: “Because it’s cheaper than therapy…” And with a bit of effort, not only is it cheaper but you can actually make a bit of money from it.)

As these years of regular seasonal depression made an exit, so did the torrential pace of my songwriting. At first I grieved this (the songwriting that is, not the depression), thinking that the gift had left me. I wondered where it had gone, not making the connection to the depression.

Fast forward to 2011. I’ve just come through an 8-month period of periodic but regular darkness. These are a little different than they used to be; I’m far more functional now during a time of depression. Where depression used to arrive for seemingly no reason at all, now it shows up when more life is happening than I have time to live. But that’s an exploration for another day…

In about a 12-week period from April to June of this year I found myself with about 15 new songs. They were coming regularly and I couldn’t figure out why. In the course of a conversation with a good friend I discovered the reason. I shared with him that I had recently re-found my songwriting groove while also expressing my frustration at having experienced a lot in recent months and not having adequate time to debrief. These seem like pretty obvious matching puzzle pieces in retrospect, but at the time I didn’t see the correlation.

“Maybe the songs ARE the debrief…” he said. Have you ever had the feeling that the cartoon lightbulb just lit up above your head? Yeah, I had that feeling.

Back to the quote that ignited these thoughts… I think in the last 8 months I’ve lived about 3 years worth of life. These have been both tremendously good experiences and excruciatingly bad ones, but they have been many.  And they have all been rich soil for new creative works.

I have nothing against the right kind of therapy, of course. If that’s what’s needed, find a good therapist and go – regularly. But if you have any kind of creative spark – and I believe that everyone does – try using all that darkness as fuel for art. By art I mean more than painting; I mean songwriting and journaling and dancing and singing and whatever else you might find interesting.

Whatever it is that you’re interested in, a period of depression is a good time to give it a try. There are things that can be done on the dark that will help you survive until the light returns.

My light has returned and I’ve got some new songs, a strengthened faith, and some new friends to show for it. And I don’t fear the next period of darkness; I used to, but I don’t anymore. I’ve come to accept the rhythms of life, to stop fighting the dark so much – because often it’s a gift that’s waiting to be opened.

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New album “Lovers on the Edges of the Twilight” is almost done! Info here: http://bit.ly/pimCw8

Get the previous album “The Weight of Glory” here: http://bit.ly/pFEhs1

This is how we like to end a concert… with a little bit of Johnny Cash. Enjoy!

Here we are performing one of the songs from my next album called “The Love Song”. Enjoy! Let me know what you think.

You do want to hear these new songs I’ve been talking about, right? Well you’ll have a chance on Friday, July 8th at the Palmer Park band shell in Aylmer. We’re doing a free music and BBQ thing in the lovely metropolitan downtown of Aylmer, Ontario that night between 7 and 9pm.

The fabulous Brix brothers will be backing me with electric guitar and keys, Mike Klassen also on electric, and John Farris on bass along with Shane Krahn on drums and Shannon on vocals.

Come and check it out. It will be good.

Don't ask me how songs come into being. They just come. I go for months without writing one, and then in the last 2-3 months there have been about 15 new ones.

I'm often taken by surprise. Like one day I'm out on a run and I have a memory of a childhood friend... the first few sentences of the memory rhyme and have a melody. Where did that come from?

Like today, I'm making a left turn on my way home from the studio and a melody comes accompanied by the words, "Sometimes you're not hurting til it hurts," and what was meant to be a five minute stop-in at home turns into a 45 minute stop-in and results in a new song called "I Will Survive".

These first lines are often kernels that need to be coaxed into revealing themselves. That's the job of the songwriter. It's not all dictation, but I think maybe those first lines are. They're little gifts of work that are given and need to be molded and added to. So you say thanks and start molding, adding colors, leaving your mark.

Songs come out of hurt, they come out of pain, and they're threaded through with joy and gratitude. I'm an incredibly blessed man... and I've been hurting a lot lately. The new songs reflect that. The emotions are raw and bare. I'm crying out to God, I'm thankful for my wife, and I think I'm trying to figure out exactly how hurt I am. It's hard to tell on a lot of days.

Anyway, here is today's contribution to the struggle

I Will Survive
Sometimes you’re not hurting til it hurts
Sometimes the wounding takes you off your guard
Takes a swipe and leaves a mark
Weighs your shoulders down without a clue

Sometimes in the darkness of the night
It’s hard to tell what kind of path you’re on
The light is there and then it’s gone
It leaves you standing there, you’re so confused

I will survive this night
I will get through
I will endure this fight
But I can't say that I’ll be myself,
I might need a crutch, I might need some help
And that is why I have you by my side
My bride

Sometimes when the evil come to roost
And all my enemies are laughing hard
Busting through my forward guard
O, my God, whatever will I do?

Sometimes I’ve got nothing left to give
And you go and take away the bitter parts
Remove the casing from my heart
Make me live like there’s nothing left to lose

I will survive this night
I will get through
I will endure this fight
But I can't say that I’ll be myself,
I might need a crutch, I might need some help
And that is why I have you by my side
My bride

Another great thing about stepping back into music writing and performing is meeting new friends. I did just that when I performed at London Music Club a few weeks back. As soon as I’d sat down in the lounge an older gentleman and his wife sauntered in and immediately struck up a conversation with me. Will and Marilyn Youell were their names and Will was there to perform a few songs as well.

Eventually we moved to the performance hall together and watched the first few performers at the open mic. We talked between and exchanged CDs. Will performed before I did and he’s got a voice that I hope to have some day. It’s strong and world-weary and weather-beaten and crisp and I love it.

Here is one of the songs from Will’s CD that I’ve spent time listening to.
Download audio file (01%20Making%20Memories%20of%20Us.mp3)
(click here to listen if you don’t see the player above)

I didn’t find out until a while after that this is actually a Keith Urban song… which is good because Keith Urban’s version – in comparison to Will’s – well, it sounds kinda stuffed with cheese, if you know what I mean. Will’s given it a classic country feel, especially with the June Carter style background vocals.

Cheers Will – glad to meet you my friend. Til we meet again… be cool, brother.

Many songwriters have spoken of experiencing something like psychic dictation when writing a song. Some say these songs are just floating in the ether waiting to be pulled down. Others believe they’re transmitted like radio waves from somewhere to them and they act as a sort of receiver. Others believe in muses – Greek goddesses who inspire the creation of literature and the arts.

I believe that God speaks in a variety of ways, and inspiring creative works is one of them, although I’ve often felt in the moment that some songs were just out there, waiting – in more modern terms – to be downloaded.

But I’m writing a lot of songs lately. It must be the phase I’m in. I haven’t been in emotional catharsis mode for a while. It’s all been intake, go-go-go and then on to the next thing with no time to debrief or process the many things I’m experiencing. So it’s coming out in art instead. For me, when things don’t come out in structured prose they reveal themselves in songs. Sometimes what these songs are about is really obvious. Other times, their meaning isn’t revealed – even to me – until years later. It’s a mysterious process.

I finished a song two nights ago that I’ve been trying to write for about a month. The title and first line are the same and those words and the melody of just that first line are all I’ve had for a month! “Lovers on the edges of the twilight…”

In the past I would have imposed my creative will on this song much sooner but now… I just kept singing that first line whenever it came to mind and last night my patience paid off. The rest of the song “showed up” and I have to say it is quite epic. Think Matthew Perryman Jones crossed with Brandi Carlile with a big snare, a huge soaring chorus and a Hammond organ.

Like all the other new ones, I can’t wait for you to hear this one. Patience, my friends…

It’s hard to believe that it has already been over a decade since I publicly released an album of songs. I released “The Weight of Glory” late in the year 2000 and it sold alright but I never put enough live performances behind it to really give it a chance. (I’m giving it away as a digital download here if you’d like to have a listen)

Since then I’ve probably written about 150 songs and made demos of 60-70 of them, so its safe to say that a new album is long overdue.

I’m approaching things very differently this time around. I have always been completely sheet-bound; everything I did, from writing to recording to performing, required a lead sheet (a paper that shows the lyrics, chords, and song structure). I have always lamented the fact that I couldn’t play many of my own songs without a lead sheet so this time, no lead sheets.

This is a forced discipline and a new way of being and it is working out very nicely. I sit down in front of the microphone with, at most, a hand written sheet with a few notes on it and play the song.

When it comes time to perform these songs live I’ll be so ready to go. A couple of the songs are brand new, written in the last few weeks, and I haven’t even completely written them out yet. This is another departure from my usual methods. I have numerous binders full of songs that were written by hand and then typed up with a proper title, verse and chorus structure, chords over top of the words, etc. They even had a copyright notice at the bottom, for goodness sake!

My studio work methods are changing too as I submit myself to the guiding hand of a producer, Deni Gauthier. I wanted Deni to produce this album because he works fast and has more of an ear for pop catchiness than I do. So far, we’re working fast and I’m surprised at the catchiness and singability of what we’re producing together. These songs actually have commercial appeal. I can’t wait for you to hear them.

My best songs to this point have had a different kind of appeal. They are more in the vein of Bill Mallonee or Bob Dylan – more poetic with a more confessional tone. I love those songs too but it takes a certain type of person to get them. I’m already writing the songs for the album that will come out after the current one is done and they will be darker, more poetic and more confessional.

But for now, I’m having a blast making music with Deni. And making this music is making me.

This has to be one of the strangest covers of a CCR song that I have ever heard. I recorded it last Friday (May 13th, 2011) at London Music Club in London, where I performed at an open mic. Enjoy.

I started recording a new album recently… it’s been a while. My first album was released in the year 2000. Since then I’ve written scores of songs and demo’d about 60-70 of them but haven’t released anything officially. Well, that should change by the end of the summer.

In anticipation of this, I’m giving away my first album for free via Noisetrade. Click on the album cover on the right to hear samples, then enter your email address to download the full album. (or Click Here if you see nothing on the right)

You can of course pay for it via Noisetrade, and if you do you’ll be helping me to finance the record I’m making right now.

I gave this album (“The Weight of Glory”) a re-listen recently and I’m pretty happy with how the songs stand up over a decade later. Don’t get me wrong – I think I write better songs now, but these were good too.

Enjoy.

This story starts when I’m about 14 years old. I’m in the passenger seat of a red VW Jetta beside my friend Jacob, who is about 5 years older than I am. Jacob is a significant influence in my life and introduces me to a lot of great music and helps my intellectual development immensely.

My musical tastes are in transition at this point. I’m discovering the world of music that exists outside of the CCM bubble but also just getting into some great punk and speed metal that somehow exists within the CCM bubble. (more on that some other time)

I open the glove box and see a cassette tape case. It has pictures on it of two serious looking women and the words “indigo girls”. Being the musically curious type I take out the tape and pop it in and hear this song: http://grooveshark.com/s/Closer+I+Am+To+Fine/3jMJ6J?src=5 (go ahead… it will open in a new tab)

It all starts right there, but it’s just a seed. It would be a couple more years before I find my way back to that cassette tape, buy the song book for the album and force my fingers to form the now familiar chords shapes of G, A7sus4, Cadd9, Dsus, D, Dsus2, D that make up the introductory hook to the song.

I could write thousands of words about how indebted I am to Indigo Girls and about which songs have impacted me in what ways and how much, and some day I will… but not today. I have every album they’ve made and each one is precious to me; each one has at least one song that is entirely profound – usually there’s more than one.

All I’ll say today is that seeds get planted and then watered and then they grow. For me one of the seeds was this song and what has grown is a love of art and music and philosophy and theology. A hundred and fifty songs or so later and I’m still writing them – more than usual lately.

Enjoy.

Ron Sexsmith… song after song, album after album, the guy just keeps releasing brilliant work. Yes I know he looks a bit odd and his voice takes some getting used to, but here is a songwriter among songwriters who is admired by other greats like Elvis Costello and Paul McCartney. And he’s Canadian to boot.

Here is a song from his latest album called “Get in Line.” In Ron’s words this is “a song about feeling like I’ve disappointed people.”

Watch a live, full band version here.

Lyrics:
Heavy clouds all hanging around
And the sun refuses to shine
If you’re bent on bringing me back down
Better get in line

Something I said has got you so mad
You wanna give me a piece of your mind
If you intend on making me feel bad
You best get in line

It’s a long line
It’s a long line
It’s going out the door
You’ll be waiting in line
A very long time
Till your feet are sore

Whatever I do I’m doing it wrong
And if you feel the need to remind me
Of a world that’s long gone
Take a number and wait in line

It’s a long line
It’s a long line
Going round the bend
You’ll be waiting a long time
It’s a very long line
I can’t see the end

Heavy clouds all hanging around
And the sun refuses to shine
If you’re bent on bringing me back down
Better get in line

Never meant for your flowers to wilt
Or to sour all your sweet wine
If you mean to shower me with guilt
Better get in line

If you’re crying over milk that spilt
Well take a number and wait in line
You better get in line

A fascinating interview with former rock musician, now Cognitive Psychologist with a Ph.D. Daniel Levitin:

Purchase his book here: This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession

From Publishers Weekly

Think of a song that resonates deep down in your being. Now imagine sitting down with someone who was there when the song was recorded and can tell you how that series of sounds was committed to tape, and who can also explain why that particular combination of rhythms, timbres and pitches has lodged in your memory, making your pulse race and your heart swell every time you hear it.

Remarkably, Levitin does all this and more, interrogating the basic nature of hearing and of music making (this is likely the only book whose jacket sports blurbs from both Oliver Sacks and Stevie Wonder), without losing an affectionate appreciation for the songs he’s reducing to neural impulses. Levitin is the ideal guide to this material: he enjoyed a successful career as a rock musician and studio producer before turning to cognitive neuroscience, earning a Ph.D. and becoming a top researcher into how our brains interpret music.

Though the book starts off a little dryly (the first chapter is a crash course in music theory), Levitin’s snappy prose and relaxed style quickly win one over and will leave readers thinking about the contents of their iPods in an entirely new way.

Every once in a while I find an album that I absolutely love. I always intend to write a review of this music but I rarely get to it. Sometimes though I come across a review that captures my own thoughts about the album really well.

I came across such a review of R.E.M.’s latest tonight that I want to share with you written by a writer I’ve been reading for a long time, Brian Q. Newcomb.

Here are some highlights from the review:

For bands with staying-power, no matter how far afield they run from what their fans expect, the challenge is to strike that precarious balance between giving music listeners the “new thing” they desire, without straying so far off that they cannot follow.

R.E.M.’s earliest experiments and bolder creative efforts over the years have earned them a fan base willing to go along for the journey, to see what new horizons the band’s muse will suggest. Still, they seem to want to bring it all together here, on this their last contractual album with their long time label, Warner Bros. Records

***

“Collapse into Now” is both a summary of R.E.M.’s winning templates, and an expressive effort of the band living in the present.

…this latest installment from R.E.M. is certainly the best all-around effort from the band in the last 15 years, although the hard core rock fans will no doubt still hold “Accelerate” in higher regard. To these ears, “Collapse into Now” provides a keen synthesis of R.E.M.’s diverse sounds into a complete and concrete whole.

Read the full review here.

I can’t say enough good things about Andrew Peterson. The song “Dancing in the Minefields” from his latest album is another gem. This is the perfect song and video for Valentines Day.

(watch)

Andrew Peterson’s metaphor for marriage as “dancing in the minefields” is so potent. In addition to the challenge of being two imperfect human beings bound together for life in marriage, there are the additional challenges we face as we walk through life together. Life is indeed a minefield – a road with hazards buried beneath it.

And yet, we walk the road in faith, trusting in God’s promise to bring us to perfection and to purify us as we seek him in faith. Because we trust in him we can not only walk a road filled with hazards – we can dance our way down the road.

Because we trust in him as master of the wind and the water, we can go sailing in the storms of life and still expect to reach our destination.This is the beautiful reality of Christian marriage and I want to embrace it every day – and especially this Valentines weekend.

The song has particular significance for my wife and me since I was 19 and she was 21 the year we got married and that was 15 years ago last year.

I hope you enjoyed the video and the song. I’ll be showing this in our worship services this weekend. Here are the lyrics:

Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

Chorus:
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

Chorus:

Bridge:
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Chorus:
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for